The Willem Dafoe Adventures in Mount and Blade Warband – Part 1


Another series because I am horrible at keeping a schedule (I’m joking future employers). This new series was heavily inspired my two of my friends epic quest to watch every single movie that Willem Dafoe has been credited in (they have a blog where they plan on reviewing every one; This series will follow the adventure of Willem Dafoe in Mount and Blade Warband, a medieval RPG where anything is possible, within the games mechanics of course. So this series will pretty much be Willem Dafoe being a badass (as usual).

*Just a quick note, becuase M&B’s face editor is utter balls, Willem Dafoe looks “vaguely” like Willem Dafoe, I tried okay*

(This obviously looks like Willem Dafoe, shut up!)

ImageSo I booted up good ol’ Mount and Blade because I craved for adventure (DayZ servers were down and I’m too lazy to play Bioshock Infinite). When creating my character, I didn’t who or what I wanted. At first I put down Sean Bean, because why not? Then I realised that the Beano was not the way to go, instead I choose the Green Goblin himself, senior Dafoe. After messing about with the Oblivion-esque character creator, I finally achieved something which in my eyes could pass off as Willem Dafoe (there were not any good hair options so I had to resort to the one you see above). Face done, now it was time to start adventuring!

I choose to start in the viking-like region because vikings are kick-ass. I then decided to do the tutorial missions to get Willem started (I decided to put the difficulty on hard and not use cheats because Willem is a pro, you’ll see the results from this choice not too soon).

“Get 5 peasants to fight and die for you Willem!” said the quest giver. And so I did. However, on my way to getting even more laddies (not ladies, men; big, tough men!) I ran into some bandits. Right Willem, time to show these knaves what yer made off!…



As you can see above, things did not go well. So Willem here got captured by the bandits, dragged about for a few days before finally escaping the thugs. Don’t worry Willem, you’ll get your revenge. After the escape, Willem built up his band of peasants to aid the quest giver, when I got them he said, “AH! Willem Dafoe! Well done. now go and kill some bandits to do stuff and things” or something like that. And so he did. Willem killed the bandits, which then led him to their camp, where he continued to bring justice to them. However, one complaint I have on M&B is that getting good armour and weapons is tough, but getting money is even tougher. So we had to stick with the rags and crappy sword for quite some time. However our band of merry men was getting bigger and stronger, so I rightly decided to call them “Dafighters”.

Image(the Dafighters in action)

Continuing on, we went to one of the towns to compete in a tourney. This would be an excellent way for Willem to make his mark in this land. So he entered in ,put 20 gold coins on himself to win (he was 13 to 1 (260 gold on bets we would make)). Now this was going to be interesting…


ImageThree times… three times Willem got knocked out. The only way he was allowed back into the tourney was because he was fighting so well. Clearly Willem was not ready to take on the high ranking knights and lords, yet.

Nonetheless Willem kept his head held high and coninued questing! He completed the tutorial missions, ran some errands for some lords and fought more bandits. He was doing rather well, however, my last fight of this session would not be a great one.

Image(“Let every villain learn to fear the name Willem Dafoe!” – Willem Dafoe)

Willem and Dafighters were strolling through the woods, hunting more low ranking looters and bandits for easy gold. But their path was blocked by a group of deserters. These were mid-ranking troops, they had equal numbers too. Willem wouldn’t run, he would never run! Willem Dafoe and his 15 Dafighters charged these deserting scum, bringing justice to them. Little did Willem know that this group was full of archers. Yup, Willem got knocked out once again, the Dafighters slain or routed, leaving their master to the dogs. We’ve got some work to do…









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